Episode 16: Overcoming Disappointment
Shawn (00:01)
Disappointment. It's a feeling we've all experienced, sometimes unexpectedly crashing down on us like this really heavy wave, leaving us grappling for air in its wake. It's that sinking sensation when reality doesn't align with our hopes and dreams, when the path we've envisioned takes an unexpected turn, or when the people we trust let us down. But here's the thing about disappointment. It's universal. It doesn't discriminate based on age, race, gender, or how much money you have.
It's the great equalizer of human emotion, reminding us that even in our most vulnerable moments, we are not alone. Today, we're going to go deep into the depths of disappointment, how it shapes us and challenges us, and ultimately how it can propel us forward. And I was thinking about this the other day because we're so close to the Summer Olympics. They start July 27th, and all the athletes all over the world who are just doing everything they can to try to make that Olympic team to represent their country.
Everyone can't go, there's gonna be a lot of disappointed
Only a few people can make the Olympics. It is after all.
the biggest sporting event in the world. But it's my hope that those athletes can see the bigger picture that they've really enjoyed all the time that they've had training in a sport that I hope that they still love. And I thought today would be a really great opportunity for us to talk about
So get ready, today we're gonna talk about how disappointment may knock us down, but it's how we rise from the fall that truly defines
Shawn (01:39)
Welcome back everybody. You are listening to podcast handstand and I'm your host JR Jake way. It is Wednesday, May 29th and guess what? We have gymnastics on TV again this weekend. It is the US Gymnastics Championships. We will be crowning a male and female national champion by the end of this weekend and it's also another step in the qualification process that will ultimately choose.
five men and five women to represent the United States at the Paris Olympics. So here's the deal. You're going to be able to watch all four days of this competition. There's two days for the men and two days for the women. Day one of the men can be seen on Peacock starting tomorrow, the 30th of May. And then on Friday night, you'll also be able to watch the day one of women's competition on Peacock. On Saturday, day two or the finals of the men competition will be on CNBC.
And then on Sunday, you'll be able to see the finals or day two of the women's competition streamed both on Peacock and on NBC prime time, baby. That's right. You'll be able to see Simone Biles, Shailesh Jones, or whoever your favorite gymnast. And it's going to be a major, major event. So please make sure you make plans to watch gymnastics. With that said,
I wanted to talk this week about disappointment and specifically disappointment in sports because I was thinking about all the folks who are trying to make it to the Olympics and how many people are just going to be really disappointed when they don't make the Olympic
disappointment is one of those things that's inevitable and every time it happens it can be shocking and jarring and it feels like a gut punch but
I want to talk about how athletes can cope with the emotional aftermath
because coping with disappointment starts with acknowledging and accepting your emotions. Hey, guess what? It's okay to feel angry. You can be upset and frustrated, but essentially you don't want to dwell on those feelings for a prolonged amount of time. Instead, athletes need to shift their focus to the things that they can control, like their attitude, their effort and mindset.
As a coach, I always try to make sure and prepare my athletes before the first week of the season that you may be disappointed. And let's talk about ways that we are going to handle ourselves in that moment of disappointment. I, I find it very important as a coach to, to not only teach the skill of gymnastics, but to also teach them to be a good loser because guess what? We're all going to lose. We've all been there.
The crucial point is trying to maintain a positive mindset, which is easier said than done, especially in the face of defeat. And especially if you're dealing with children, if you're trying to get them to see perspective in that moment, forget it. It's going to be really difficult, but it's our job to continue doing that because eventually they will understand the
So how can we train athletes to train their minds to bounce back from disappointment? One technique that's proven to be very effective is visualization. Athletes can visualize themselves overcoming obstacles, performing at their best and achieving their goals. So here's one of the things that I would do with my athletes. Before the first meet of the season, we would sit down into a circle and I would go around and ask each person to explain to me how they would deal with disappointment at the meet.
Let's say, hey, Johnny, let's say you went on high bar and you fall on your dismount. What are you gonna do? Hey, Tim, you just crashed on your vault. What are you gonna do? And I would put them in very specific scenarios so they could think about it and visualize them maybe making a mistake and then how they could deal with that. Because when it actually does happen and it's going to happen, maybe it doesn't happen that weekend and I don't wanna ever see it happen, but.
I want them to have the perspective to be able to go, okay. We already talked about this. I know I'm upset, but this is how I need to
It's just making sure that they understand that at that point when they know they're not going to win, that there's a bigger picture to think about. But if we continue to have them,
Visualize this will help them build confidence resilience and allow them to bounce back stronger after setbacks Another aspect of dealing with disappointment is the role of teammates and coaches and how they can support athletes during these challenging times The support from teammates and coaches is super invaluable. They can provide encouragement perspective constructive feedback and it's essential that athletes lean into that constructive feedback so they can learn to absorb and
and take in criticism so they can improve. Together, coaches and teammates can navigate through disappointment and emerge stronger as a group. Team support can make all the difference, but what about individual athletes? Maybe it's somebody who doesn't have a lot of people around them in a team atmosphere. How can they find the strength to persevere? Well,
Individual athletes can benefit from seeking support outside of their immediate team, whether it's from family or friends or mentors. It's also essential for them to focus on self care. And this goes for everybody. Self care is going to be one of those things that really helps you physically and mentally recover. Taking time to rest and recharge and engage in activities they enjoy can help restore confidence and motivation. And parents, this is so, so important. It is a wonderful thing.
that a child has a relationship with their parents where they can go up to them and say, you know what, dad, you know what, mom, today, I just don't think that I can go to practice. I am tired and I need a break. And if they feel comfortable enough to come up and talk to you and be honest about their feelings, then you need to appreciate that they feel comfortable doing that and just let them have a day off. If they're doing this over and over again, we need to talk about why and what the bigger issues are.
But for a child to take a day off and maybe just go to the movies with their friends, allowing them to also have a life outside of their sport is, so
for maintaining a mental and emotional wellbeing, especially in those high pressure environment like sports.
So what's the takeaway from today's episode? Remember that disappointment is not a reflection of your worth as an athlete or a person, it's a natural part of the journey. And it's how you respond to it that really matters most. So stay resilient, stay focused, don't let your children just have goals based on placement. They should be goals like, I'm gonna try to stick my landings, or I'm gonna try to point my toes bigger and better than I ever have before.
because you have the power, your athletes have the power to turn setbacks into
want to thank all you listeners for tuning in for another episode of podcast handstand. Remember, whether you're on the field, the court or in the stands, dealing with disappointment is a part of the game, but with the right mindset and support, you can turn setbacks into opportunities for growth until next time. Keep chasing your dreams and changing the game.
